The
war on body image is now in full action and it's put a bad taste in
the mouths of millions of woman across the country. The tension is
getting as thick as those thighs honey! Woman
who once came together to burn their bra's and fight for their rights
are now blaming a bra company over body image issues. It all comes
down to something that has been around since the beginning of time
and that's jealousy also known as “The Green Eyed Monster
Syndrome”. Woman all over the world are taking their own personal
hate and blaming it on nonsense. It's time we stop and take
responsibility for our actions ladies. Woman need to come together
like we use to and stop the siding against one another. It is hurting
our children. The big question we all want to know is...
“Why
is it okay for fat girls to bash skinny girls but it's not okay if a
skinny person says anything about a fat person?”
It's
not okay.
(The
choice of words used in the above statement are based from a popular
question we are hearing in today's society due to the predigest going
on. Please take no offense.)
Over
the past few years I've seen numerous knocks on skinny girls all over
social media sites and in person. It's just another form of bullying
someone and it is not okay.
The
real issue is that big girls think it's perfectly fine to walk up to
a skinny girl and say cruel things to her such as...
“Why
are you so skinny?”
“Don't
you ever eat?”
“You
make me sick!”
Let's
stop right here. Just because you have extra meat on your bones
doesn't give you the right to talk to anyone that way.
It's simply an uncalled for double standard.
If
it's not okay for a skinny girl to come up to a big girl and say...
“Why
are you so fat?”
“Don't you ever stop eating?”
“You make me sick!”
“Don't you ever stop eating?”
“You make me sick!”
It
is certainly not okay for a big girl to ask these hurtful questions
to a skinny girl, yet they continue to do so on a daily basis
regardless of who they hurt.
This
is a viscous cycle and they've now found a way to aim their hate
towards the fashion and doll industry. Plus-sized woman are claiming
that these people are the ones to blame for the low self-esteem in
our daughter's stating it's a so called “Body Image” issue. Let
me get this right, so it's okay for you to bash skinny girls all over
the social media or in person but now you are the victims? Now you
are blaming Magazines, Barbie, and Victoria's Secret for being unfair
to you? Saying that they need to put big woman in their magazines,
dolls, and stores because it's hurting your child's self-esteem? I
don't think so! If this were true then why are there no images of
thin woman in your photos and Advertisement?
Where
are the skinny girls in your adds Layne Bryant and Zulily? I don't
see a single slim girl in your advertisements.
Lets
talk about this so called 'Body Image' war going on. Again it's not
really about body image and most of us can see that but let's talk
about it anyway. If this was about body image then we wouldn't see so
much hate and bullying being posted on social media sites bashing the
thin girls now would we? As far as I'm concerned,this was just
another poor excuse for them to knock the thin-sized woman. It just
gave them more ammunition to bully and talk down to them. It was one
more way for these woman to vomit their own internal hate. They saw
this as an opportunity for their deep rooted envy and it gave them
just another excuse to be jerks! It's time to keep your big fat
mouth's shut and think about who you might be hurting. Your friends,
family, and even your kids are reading this hateful stuff. Your
friends, family, and even your own little girls are seeing this and
soaking it up. You're posting things like this knowing you have
several thin friends out there reading this. Therefor it is
intentional belittling. This makes you a bully and nine times out of
ten a skinny girl will not fire back. Why, because she knows what it
feels like and thinks about how it may hurt someone. She has been
called names for being skinny her whole life and chances are she
won't step to your level because she's been raised without so much
hate. Her mother most likely stopped her when she innocently asked
once upon a time “Mommy, why is that lady over there so fat?” A
wise mother will politely correct the innocent child's question and
say “Honey, it's not polite to stare. Some people are
just
born that way.”
Envy
and jealousy are nasty forms of hate and it takes a big person to
stop the cycle. Hate is a feeling that we can't always control but we
do have the power to keep our mouths shut and stop the cycle from
taking over our own children.
Hate
is like a nasty weed. It comes in unwanted places and it's hard to
get rid of once it rears it's ugly head. There may never be a
permanent cure but it's up to you to keep it managed. We may not be
able to change other people but we do have the ability to keep our
children on the right track.
All
contents on this website are originally created and owned by the
publisher. (C)
Let's
look at the big picture when it comes to the cycle of hate. When and
where the roots of hate are planted within our children, What keeps
it growing and how to stop it before it's fully grown.
Somewhere
down the road little Sally and her mother and father were sitting
down watching a television commercial that had a beautiful thin
blonde woman taking a bite into a burger. Sally's mother being upset
that she can't just eat a hamburger without gaining a pound projects
her hate in a comment saying “ She's just disgusting and blondes
have no brains.” Sally's father is drooling over the thin blonde,
sinking her pearly whites into the hamburger. The mother senses this
from her own insecurities and gets jealous making a comment to father
in front of little Sally saying “ What are you staring at?”
Making a big stink to the father. The father shuts her up with
telling her what she wants to hear by saying “Honey
I love you for your extra curves! That skinny girl is disgusting,
besides you know I'm not into blonde skinny girls anyway!”
He says this because his wife made it very clear from the beginning
of their relationship of her insecurities and jealousy towards skinny
woman. He tells her this so he doesn't have listen to it all night or
have to sleep on the couch.
Little
Sally has now just picked up her first taste of hate by her very own
mother. Someone she's looked up to since she was born five years
ago. She grows up seeing her mother's jealousy at her father for
being a man. Seeing this hate quickly molds innocent little Sally
into a predigest thinker. Yesterday Sally didn't see shapes and sizes
but today she sees something different and has learned hate.
The
next day little Sally is out on the playground with all her friends.
Little Sally walks up to her best friend Sophia. She says to Sophia “
You are stupid because you are too skinny and have no brains.”
Sophia is hurt and confused by this. She becomes angry because she
doesn't know how else to show her feelings at this age.
Here's
where the circle of hate begins. Both little Sally and Sophia were
both innocent, blissful, and happy little girl's. Yesterday they
didn't see the what was on the outside of each other.
Today
for the first time Sophia hates her blonde hair, skinny legs, and
thinks she's stupid. She now has a complex. This is where the
parenting comes in.
Sophia
runs to her mommy and tells her mommy what happened at the
playground. She says “Mommy that girl over there said I'm stupid
and too skinny.” Mommy says “It's okay honey, she's been taught
this and doesn't know any better. You are beautiful for who you are!
Don't you let that girl tell you who you are!” In some immature
cases there are mothers to girls like Sophia that will keep the hate
going by saying “Honey, she's just mad because she's fat and has a
low self-esteem! You are better than her.” In this scenario little
Sophia's from all over the world grow up with too much self-esteem
and think they are above over-sized people. Same goes to Little
Sally. She will grow up with too much esteem as well and learn to
feel jealousy, hate, and resentment towards anyone skinny or blonde.
Eventually when she grows up she will bring it into her own family
and that is how the hate continues to be fed.
Parents
are taking the easy approach by blaming magazines, clothing shops,
and Barbies for a self image issue in our children. No parent wants
to admit that they are at fault when they see their child is hurting
inside. When their child is suffering from an eating disorder it's
much easier to point the finger at someone else. Parents with
children who have become bullies do not want to take responsibility
that it takes a bully to make a bully. Change is the most difficult
things to do. It takes work and effort.
The
point in all of this is that our daughter's didn't come out of the
whom holding a Cosmopolitan magazine in their hand born in a
Victoria's Secret shop. They heard and felt hate somewhere from
someone they looked up to.
When
I was a child playing with barbies, I wasn't thinking about body
image while I was combing out her pretty hair or dressing her up. I
was simply playing dolls and making up Barbie Soap Operas. Play is
an amazing way for children to grow socially. Don't take that away
from them because of your own personal feelings. These hypocritical
opinions are ridiculous. These powerful woman are saying...
“Love
your body for what you were born with.” “Sexy is all sizes and
shapes.”
We
all know this is not about body image issues. It's human nature to
want what we don't have. Not everyone but most. It went too far when
little Barbie was being attacked. So let me get this straight...
“Love
your body for what you were born with and how you were made but let's
change Barbie because she was made too thin?”
Make
up your mind ladies. It was absolutely ridiculous when you blamed
Mattel for making Barbie dolls too thin.
What
about Barbie?
She
didn't have a choice on how she was made. In doll world, she was born
that way. I don't think she would appreciate the fact that woman who
once loved her for who she was are now changing her into something to
be more like them.
Let's
stop blaming and focus on the real issues. The issues that are deep
within. The hate and envy some have when they see something they
don't have. It's time we stop this war now before we get a riot
going. It's just an excuse for thick sized woman to bully thin-sized
woman. If you are a thick woman with a thin child you'd better not be
knocking those thin girls in front of her. Your building hate. Same
goes to a thin-sized mother of a thicker child. The words “Your
eating too much!” You're getting a little chunky.” or “We need
to put you on a diet.” should never come out of your mouth! We've
all seen mother's that are jealous of their own children. I've
witnessed it in the park with my own children. There was an
over-sized mother of two beautiful daughter's. One who was thick and
one thin. They had picked up some hamburgers and fries for lunch and
the mother says to the thin child. “You need another cheeseburger
so we can fatten you up! You so skinny it disgusts me!” I've also
seen it the other way around a few years back at a local carnival in
town. There were two mothers eating at the table with their children.
One mother literally says to her tiny little child “I use to be
skinny just like you, but don't get used to it, you will get fat
too!” The other mom comments back and says “You don't want to be
skinny anyway, skinny girls are brainless snobs, you want meat on
your bones!” I could see the confusion and heart ache in this poor
girls eyes. You also have the thin-sized mothers that work hard on
their bodies. It's all about the image for them. You'll typically see
these mother's at the mall or in the park wearing their best clothes
with their top of the line strollers and car's. If your child isn't
fit or wearing name clothing they will not give you the time of day.
It's very sad. I've seen happy children just being kids out at the
park. They don't judge who they are playing with because they still
have their innocence. I've watched with my own eyes a mother come
over and take her child away from having fun. The child is fighting
and screaming “Mommy no, we are having fun! These are my new
friends!” The mother will say something like “No, you have your
friends and they are over here! You know better!” The other
children are left feeling bad thinking they're not good enough. Soon
you will find that your once happy child is now saying she hates her
clothes. She hates her body. She hates herself. She now feels
embarrassed for who she is and where she comes from. It takes a
strong, down to earth mother that will fix that immediately and stop
the hate circle right then and there. We got to be strong for our
little ones. It's up to us mother's and father's to stand together
and stop the hate as soon as we see it.
Plus-size
retailer Lane Bryant came out with the new spring campaign on April
6th,
2015 stating that “All woman are sexy regardless of societies
stereotypical views”. Just six days later actress Rebel Wilson made
a bold appearance at the MTV Music Awards. She strutted onto the
stage dressed
as a Victoria's Secret Angel making a loud and clear fashion
statement to supposedly 'prove
that beauty comes in all shapes and sizes'. Early last November of
2014, Victoria's
Secret came under attack for controversial body shaming ads with over
30,000 signed petitions asking the brand to change their slogan “The
Perfect Body”.
This
whole “Body Image” campaigning is a Lie!
It's
just another poor excuse for the uneducated to fire their personal
feelings by lashing out and focusing the anger on someone else. It's
called the“Green Eyed Monsters” Syndrome, also known as
“Jealousy” which is something that has been going on long before
boob jobs and tummy tucks. This isn't about body image ladies! This
is pure prejudiced thinking and it needs to come to a stop. What ever
happened to woman coming together? Victoria's Secret brand ended up
being bullied into changing their slogan to “A Body For Every
Body”. This put the plus sized woman into an outrage because they
say it was only changed on their website but that “The Perfect
Body” was still hung up in VS stores. Who's really teaching our
children what here?
The
“Green
Eyed Monster's”
really shined their ugly rears June 30, 2014 when Epic Records
released singer Meghan Trainor's debut single on. “All About That
Bass”, written by Trainor and Kevin Kadish claiming the lyrics
discusses positive
body image.
I don't think so! If this was so then this would be based around all
sizes not just plus sizes. I see attacks on thin-sized sized woman on
a daily basis posted in the news feed of my favorite social media
website. In today's society, thin-sized woman are three
times more likely to be bullied then an over-sized woman.
Have
we forgotten the true message here? Have we been so brain washed by
the blaming of the body image issue that we don't know what's right
from wrong anymore? I can see why our children are so confused in
today's society.
“Stand
Together As One But Fight One Another”!
“Be
Strong But Don't Talk Back Or Speak Up For Yourselves!”
Did
you know that statistics show that larger woman are more confident
then thinner woman? Yet nothing is being changed about it. Great
woman and amazing companies are still getting the blame.
When
I was trying to make ends meet I didn't go sue a plus-sized store for
not hiring me because I was too thin. I applied somewhere else.
That's what everyone needs to do when it comes to this “Body Image”
nonsense. If it doesn't fit, go somewhere else. Enough is enough
“it's time we stop now look around everyone is falling down” as
sang it and it's “Time to Come Together Right Now” like Jon
Lennon sung so well.
Wake
up and smell the reality!
If
anything is hurting these young girls growing up, it's the hate they
are being exposed to by the woman and men that surround them. The
parents are the ones who are in control of what their child sees. I
have two beautiful daughters that are opposite in shapes. I've never
knocked someone for their body size in front of them. My parents did
an amazing job by raising me to see only what's on the inside. Does
it mean I came out perfect, absolutely not. As much as we like to
protect our children, it's impossible to protect them from all. For
an example: My daughters were under the care of one of their in-laws,
who happened to be a heavier set gal who decided to knock and
belittle skinny blonde girls on television. Saying they had no
brains. My oldest picked that up from her and I still catch her
knocking the skinny blonde girls to this day no matter what I try and
teach her. My youngest who happens to be a thin blonde was also hurt
by this ruthless statement. She took it to heart and saw it as an
attack. She said to me “Mommy, If this is what grandma thinks, then
she must think that I'm stupid and disgusting. I come from you mommy
so she thinks my mommy is dumb and disgusting too?” It made my
heart ache. I told her that this is coming from jealousy and hate but
it's not how we were raised. This just goes to show that we cannot
protect them from all but I'll tell you, it's not easy to fix this
once it's stuck in their little heads and they've been exposed to
this type of belittling. It's especially hurtful and confusing when
it's heard from someone they love or look up to, it's not easy to
undo these predigest opinions.
“What
do I do when my child is exposed to this type of hate from a strong
influential personally in their life?”
It
is especially difficult when they have heard predigest come from
someone they look up to.
My
advise to those who are struggling with this touchy subject is to
just remind your child how much you love them. Be open with them and
let them know that these are only opinions of someone else. Remember
that you are the parent and that you brought them in the world. It's
your job as their mother to instill strong, independent, and healthy
spirits. You can only do so much protecting. The world will always
have some form of hate that you can't protect them from. As the
parent you can only do what you know is best and show them what's
right from wrong. Your children are their own person so no matter
what you do there will always be some things you cannot change in
them. If you have a strong willed child they will have to learn
everything on their own and your opinion doesn't stand a chance.
Someday your hard work will pay off but if it doesn't and you have a
wild card, don't blame yourself. You did your best. Don't be too hard
on yourselves mama's! You did and are doing an amazing job, the best
you can and could do.
Let's
turn the tables a bit.
What
happens when your the one who wants to change your body?
Here are some common questions that so many mother's struggle with.
“I'm
planning to get a breast augmentation but I'm worried that my
daughter will think happiness comes from change.
How
do I teach her that this is just mommy's decision and that she's
perfect the way she is when I'm not happy with the way I am?”
If
you are a mother considering or have already gotten a boob job or
have done other body altering.
If
you are a mother considering changing your body or have already had
some body altering done please continue to read. Make sure you
explain to your daughter's that the decision to change was your
choice and not for someone else. Explain to your child that changing
your body is a personal choice you are making. It is a choice for you
and only you. Let her know that some of us are born with smaller or
larger proportions. It is very important that you emphasize that we
are beautiful either way because that's the way we were created! Some
people like it and some do not. It's as simple as that. You can tell
your child that sometimes we don't like the sizes we were given. Here
is one of many examples you can use if you have a younger child that
is looking for answers. You can say to your child in question.
“Remember
that time we went to your favorite fast food restaurant and you were
upset because you wanted more french fries because you were really
hungry and you thought it would be cool to have a bigger fry then a
smaller fry? Do you remember when mommy changed your order to a
super size so that you could have more fries? Mommy used to get big
fries too when she was your age because she thought it was really
cool to have big fries and they were so yummy! Now mommy's had so
many big fries that she just likes getting the small fries now, it's
just enough to fill her up. The same thing goes with our bodies. Some
want to get it bigger or smaller because it's cooler or because we
just like it better that way. It doesn't always mean that's the way
everyone want's it because everyone is different.”
I
struggled with this topic myself because I have growing daughters. I
thought 'what message would this be giving them if I got a boob job'.
I don't want them growing up thinking that you have to get big boobs
in order to be happy because that's what their mother did. So,I've
personally made the decision to wait until they leave the nest before
altering my body. Some would argue with this saying that you have
needs too and that you shouldn't put all of your happiness aside for
your children. I don't feel that I'm putting my happiness aside. My
children are my happiness. Again, it comes down to the circumstances,
personal beliefs, or how we were raised. This choice was a choice I
made from my own individual thoughts and experiences. I do not judge
others for the choices they make.
If
you are a mother who is considering or that has already altered your
body, I hope that you can be open with your daughter about it all. My
advise it that you discuss this openly and explain why you made the
decision and why it's important for you. Make sure you let your
children know that we are all perfect the way we are and that
sometimes we just don't like the way we are but that it is a decision
you've made on your own and not because someone else thinks that's
how you should be. I know there are some mothers that hide this from
their daughter's. They will notice. You will be the first person they
look at when they find themselves feeling down because they were born
with smaller proportions because you are their mother. You created
them. They look up to you. When they learn about fake boobs from
television or a friend and they come to the realization that they are
the only one flat chested. Be prepared! Don't under estimate your
daughter's. Remember they are a lot more brighter then you think and
don't forget where they got those smart brains of theirs. There will
be a day when they come across the family photo's and see that you
were once flat chested too, they will ask you questions. Just make
sure that you have a very good explanation. They will feel a break in
trust if they are the last to know and it will take some time to
heal. If they were just too little when you made the changes then you
can just tell them you were waiting for this day to come. Otherwise
honesty is the best.
Raising
daughters to be happy with the body they were born with can be a huge
challenge today. It all comes down to a variety of circumstances and
different parenting styles we each have as individuals. We all do the
best we can based on our own personal experiences.
Back
to the hate going around, if you don't like it, don't buy it or watch
it. This war on “Body Image” proves only ignorance. Ignorance
that starts with a feeling that has been around since the beginning
of time. “Jealousy”. If it was truly about body image, than lets
focus on everyone including the thick, thin, tall, short,
handicapped, and/or disabled. Those who are out there knocking brands
like Victoria's Secret are being hypocritical. All of these stores
serve the same ideas and purpose. Whether it be Lane Bryant or
Victoria's Secret, we go there to hide what we have or to alter it.
Most of us select these stores to make our body look better by
pushing, tucking, hiding, and/or flattening it. Open up your eyes
society! We all want what we don't have and the reasons are not
because Cosmo says so. Woman and children come in all different
sizes. If they are larger it could be the bone structure, if they are
heavy, it may be from your parenting style. Change is one of the
hardest things to do, but we've got to start turning the hate into
knowledge and focus on what this is really about. It's time we stop
blaming and start re-evaluating ourselves so that we can better
educate the children who look up to us. We want to look better for
many reasons such as wanting to impress that perfect date, a night
out on the town with friends, romantic evenings with the Mr., or for
work. Whether it's to hide something we don't like about ourselves or
if it's to boost something up, it's a choice we make. It's upsetting
to see so many people getting hurt by these insane protests and
campaigns brought on by personal feelings. Enough is enough. This has
become more of an excuse to bash the skinny and it's not okay! It is
also causing thinner people to grow a hate towards overweight people.
I speak for myself and millions of others today when I say this needs
to stop. Let go of the predigest. It's a lot more easier to blame
then to change but if we all stand together, then we have the power
to change! If it's not right for an underweight woman to call an
overweight woman fat, ugly, lazy, or disgusting to their faces, then
it is certainly not okay for an overweight woman to continue to call
an underweight woman sickly, gross, anorexic, or disgusting. This is
belittling and it needs to stop. I'm so tired of hearing “It's just
not fair”. What it really comes down to is morals. I can say it's
not fair for skinny woman to be knocked on a daily basis for being
skinny. I can also say that you don't see many skinny woman knocking
a big girl on a daily basis. It could be out of morals or fear. The
street goes both ways here. I would like the thin girls to stand up
for themselves when they are being knocked, but that would just be to
cruel right? Wrong. It's all wrong. This just goes back to the green
eyed monsters (aka jealousy). We all have one in us. It's what we
decide to do with it that matters. What most over-sized woman don't
realize is that thin-sized woman want what you have. Plastic Surgeons
are banking on all sizes of woman flooding their offices in hopes to
gain or lose more. Again, we all want what we don't have. It's a
personal preference not a body image issue.
Let
the clothing stores do what they want. If you don't like it, go to
one that fits you better. We are in a society where there are a
million places to shop made for different types of people. Lets just
be healthy emotionally and physically. Remember that some can't help
it. Big bones runs in families just as high metabolisms run in
others. We can't help the genes we were given but we can change the
way we think and speak. Retrain that mind of yours to think “healthy”
not “Jealousy”. Plus-sized sized woman say they get treated
poorly by doctors for being overweight. I'd rather be treated then to
not be treated at all because I “look healthy”. A new study just
showed that “Skinny Fat” is the most deadly of them all. Let's
all look at the facts and stop the nonsense. We need to come together
as woman should and stop taking our own personal hates and blaming it
on others, start loving one another for who we are and not for our
size. Go back and remember why we have a Victoria's Secret and a
Layne Bryant. Take yourself back to the real reason we tuck, flatten,
or push up. This hate needs to stop. Please Share If You Agree! Let's
put our minds together on this one and become one as we should.