War on Body Image - Why it's not okay for big or skinny girls to bash one another!

The war on body image is now in full action and it's put a bad taste in the mouths of millions of woman across the country. The tension is getting as thick as those thighs honey! Woman who once came together to burn their bra's and fight for their rights are now blaming a bra company over body image issues. It all comes down to something that has been around since the beginning of time and that's jealousy also known as “The Green Eyed Monster Syndrome”. Woman all over the world are taking their own personal hate and blaming it on nonsense. It's time we stop and take responsibility for our actions ladies. Woman need to come together like we use to and stop the siding against one another. It is hurting our children. The big question we all want to know is...

“Why is it okay for fat girls to bash skinny girls but it's not okay if a skinny person says anything about a fat person?”

It's not okay.

(The choice of words used in the above statement are based from a popular question we are hearing in today's society due to the predigest going on. Please take no offense.)

Over the past few years I've seen numerous knocks on skinny girls all over social media sites and in person. It's just another form of bullying someone and it is not okay.

The real issue is that big girls think it's perfectly fine to walk up to a skinny girl and say cruel things to her such as...

“Why are you so skinny?”

“Don't you ever eat?”

“You make me sick!”

Let's stop right here. Just because you have extra meat on your bones doesn't give you the right to talk to anyone that way. It's simply an uncalled for double standard.

If it's not okay for a skinny girl to come up to a big girl and say...

“Why are you so fat?”
“Don't you ever stop eating?”
“You make me sick!”

It is certainly not okay for a big girl to ask these hurtful questions to a skinny girl, yet they continue to do so on a daily basis regardless of who they hurt.

This is a viscous cycle and they've now found a way to aim their hate towards the fashion and doll industry. Plus-sized woman are claiming that these people are the ones to blame for the low self-esteem in our daughter's stating it's a so called “Body Image” issue. Let me get this right, so it's okay for you to bash skinny girls all over the social media or in person but now you are the victims? Now you are blaming Magazines, Barbie, and Victoria's Secret for being unfair to you? Saying that they need to put big woman in their magazines, dolls, and stores because it's hurting your child's self-esteem? I don't think so! If this were true then why are there no images of thin woman in your photos and Advertisement?

Where are the skinny girls in your adds Layne Bryant and Zulily? I don't see a single slim girl in your advertisements.

Lets talk about this so called 'Body Image' war going on. Again it's not really about body image and most of us can see that but let's talk about it anyway. If this was about body image then we wouldn't see so much hate and bullying being posted on social media sites bashing the thin girls now would we? As far as I'm concerned,this was just another poor excuse for them to knock the thin-sized woman. It just gave them more ammunition to bully and talk down to them. It was one more way for these woman to vomit their own internal hate. They saw this as an opportunity for their deep rooted envy and it gave them just another excuse to be jerks! It's time to keep your big fat mouth's shut and think about who you might be hurting. Your friends, family, and even your kids are reading this hateful stuff. Your friends, family, and even your own little girls are seeing this and soaking it up. You're posting things like this knowing you have several thin friends out there reading this. Therefor it is intentional belittling. This makes you a bully and nine times out of ten a skinny girl will not fire back. Why, because she knows what it feels like and thinks about how it may hurt someone. She has been called names for being skinny her whole life and chances are she won't step to your level because she's been raised without so much hate. Her mother most likely stopped her when she innocently asked once upon a time “Mommy, why is that lady over there so fat?” A wise mother will politely correct the innocent child's question and say “Honey, it's not polite to stare. Some people are

just born that way.”

Envy and jealousy are nasty forms of hate and it takes a big person to stop the cycle. Hate is a feeling that we can't always control but we do have the power to keep our mouths shut and stop the cycle from taking over our own children.

Hate is like a nasty weed. It comes in unwanted places and it's hard to get rid of once it rears it's ugly head. There may never be a permanent cure but it's up to you to keep it managed. We may not be able to change other people but we do have the ability to keep our children on the right track.

All contents on this website are originally created and owned by the publisher. (C)

Let's look at the big picture when it comes to the cycle of hate. When and where the roots of hate are planted within our children, What keeps it growing and how to stop it before it's fully grown.

Somewhere down the road little Sally and her mother and father were sitting down watching a television commercial that had a beautiful thin blonde woman taking a bite into a burger. Sally's mother being upset that she can't just eat a hamburger without gaining a pound projects her hate in a comment saying “ She's just disgusting and blondes have no brains.” Sally's father is drooling over the thin blonde, sinking her pearly whites into the hamburger. The mother senses this from her own insecurities and gets jealous making a comment to father in front of little Sally saying “ What are you staring at?” Making a big stink to the father. The father shuts her up with telling her what she wants to hear by saying “Honey I love you for your extra curves! That skinny girl is disgusting, besides you know I'm not into blonde skinny girls anyway!” He says this because his wife made it very clear from the beginning of their relationship of her insecurities and jealousy towards skinny woman. He tells her this so he doesn't have listen to it all night or have to sleep on the couch.

Little Sally has now just picked up her first taste of hate by her very own mother. Someone she's looked up to since she was born five years ago. She grows up seeing her mother's jealousy at her father for being a man. Seeing this hate quickly molds innocent little Sally into a predigest thinker. Yesterday Sally didn't see shapes and sizes but today she sees something different and has learned hate.

The next day little Sally is out on the playground with all her friends. Little Sally walks up to her best friend Sophia. She says to Sophia “ You are stupid because you are too skinny and have no brains.” Sophia is hurt and confused by this. She becomes angry because she doesn't know how else to show her feelings at this age.

Here's where the circle of hate begins. Both little Sally and Sophia were both innocent, blissful, and happy little girl's. Yesterday they didn't see the what was on the outside of each other.

Today for the first time Sophia hates her blonde hair, skinny legs, and thinks she's stupid. She now has a complex. This is where the parenting comes in.

Sophia runs to her mommy and tells her mommy what happened at the playground. She says “Mommy that girl over there said I'm stupid and too skinny.” Mommy says “It's okay honey, she's been taught this and doesn't know any better. You are beautiful for who you are! Don't you let that girl tell you who you are!” In some immature cases there are mothers to girls like Sophia that will keep the hate going by saying “Honey, she's just mad because she's fat and has a low self-esteem! You are better than her.” In this scenario little Sophia's from all over the world grow up with too much self-esteem and think they are above over-sized people. Same goes to Little Sally. She will grow up with too much esteem as well and learn to feel jealousy, hate, and resentment towards anyone skinny or blonde. Eventually when she grows up she will bring it into her own family and that is how the hate continues to be fed.

Parents are taking the easy approach by blaming magazines, clothing shops, and Barbies for a self image issue in our children. No parent wants to admit that they are at fault when they see their child is hurting inside. When their child is suffering from an eating disorder it's much easier to point the finger at someone else. Parents with children who have become bullies do not want to take responsibility that it takes a bully to make a bully. Change is the most difficult things to do. It takes work and effort.

The point in all of this is that our daughter's didn't come out of the whom holding a Cosmopolitan magazine in their hand born in a Victoria's Secret shop. They heard and felt hate somewhere from someone they looked up to.

When I was a child playing with barbies, I wasn't thinking about body image while I was combing out her pretty hair or dressing her up. I was simply playing dolls and making up Barbie Soap Operas. Play is an amazing way for children to grow socially. Don't take that away from them because of your own personal feelings. These hypocritical opinions are ridiculous. These powerful woman are saying...

“Love your body for what you were born with.” “Sexy is all sizes and shapes.”

We all know this is not about body image issues. It's human nature to want what we don't have. Not everyone but most. It went too far when little Barbie was being attacked. So let me get this straight...

“Love your body for what you were born with and how you were made but let's change Barbie because she was made too thin?”

Make up your mind ladies. It was absolutely ridiculous when you blamed Mattel for making Barbie dolls too thin.

What about Barbie?

She didn't have a choice on how she was made. In doll world, she was born that way. I don't think she would appreciate the fact that woman who once loved her for who she was are now changing her into something to be more like them.

Let's stop blaming and focus on the real issues. The issues that are deep within. The hate and envy some have when they see something they don't have. It's time we stop this war now before we get a riot going. It's just an excuse for thick sized woman to bully thin-sized woman. If you are a thick woman with a thin child you'd better not be knocking those thin girls in front of her. Your building hate. Same goes to a thin-sized mother of a thicker child. The words “Your eating too much!” You're getting a little chunky.” or “We need to put you on a diet.” should never come out of your mouth! We've all seen mother's that are jealous of their own children. I've witnessed it in the park with my own children. There was an over-sized mother of two beautiful daughter's. One who was thick and one thin. They had picked up some hamburgers and fries for lunch and the mother says to the thin child. “You need another cheeseburger so we can fatten you up! You so skinny it disgusts me!” I've also seen it the other way around a few years back at a local carnival in town. There were two mothers eating at the table with their children. One mother literally says to her tiny little child “I use to be skinny just like you, but don't get used to it, you will get fat too!” The other mom comments back and says “You don't want to be skinny anyway, skinny girls are brainless snobs, you want meat on your bones!” I could see the confusion and heart ache in this poor girls eyes. You also have the thin-sized mothers that work hard on their bodies. It's all about the image for them. You'll typically see these mother's at the mall or in the park wearing their best clothes with their top of the line strollers and car's. If your child isn't fit or wearing name clothing they will not give you the time of day. It's very sad. I've seen happy children just being kids out at the park. They don't judge who they are playing with because they still have their innocence. I've watched with my own eyes a mother come over and take her child away from having fun. The child is fighting and screaming “Mommy no, we are having fun! These are my new friends!” The mother will say something like “No, you have your friends and they are over here! You know better!” The other children are left feeling bad thinking they're not good enough. Soon you will find that your once happy child is now saying she hates her clothes. She hates her body. She hates herself. She now feels embarrassed for who she is and where she comes from. It takes a strong, down to earth mother that will fix that immediately and stop the hate circle right then and there. We got to be strong for our little ones. It's up to us mother's and father's to stand together and stop the hate as soon as we see it.

Plus-size retailer Lane Bryant came out with the new spring campaign on April 6^th, 2015 stating that “All woman are sexy regardless of societies stereotypical views”. Just six days later actress Rebel Wilson made a bold appearance at the MTV Music Awards. She strutted onto the stage dressed as a Victoria's Secret Angel making a loud and clear fashion statement to supposedly 'prove that beauty comes in all shapes and sizes'. Early last November of 2014, Victoria's Secret came under attack for controversial body shaming ads with over 30,000 signed petitions asking the brand to change their slogan “The Perfect Body”.

This whole “Body Image” campaigning is a Lie!

It's just another poor excuse for the uneducated to fire their personal feelings by lashing out and focusing the anger on someone else. It's called the“Green Eyed Monsters” Syndrome, also known as “Jealousy” which is something that has been going on long before boob jobs and tummy tucks. This isn't about body image ladies! This is pure prejudiced thinking and it needs to come to a stop. What ever happened to woman coming together? Victoria's Secret brand ended up being bullied into changing their slogan to “A Body For Every Body”. This put the plus sized woman into an outrage because they say it was only changed on their website but that “The Perfect Body” was still hung up in VS stores. Who's really teaching our children what here?

The “Green Eyed Monster's” really shined their ugly rears June 30, 2014 when Epic Records released singer Meghan Trainor's debut single on. “All About That Bass”, written by Trainor and Kevin Kadish claiming the lyrics discusses positive body image. I don't think so! If this was so then this would be based around all sizes not just plus sizes. I see attacks on thin-sized sized woman on a daily basis posted in the news feed of my favorite social media website. In today's society, thin-sized woman are three times more likely to be bullied then an over-sized woman.

Have we forgotten the true message here? Have we been so brain washed by the blaming of the body image issue that we don't know what's right from wrong anymore? I can see why our children are so confused in today's society.

“Stand Together As One But Fight One Another”!

“Be Strong But Don't Talk Back Or Speak Up For Yourselves!”

Did you know that statistics show that larger woman are more confident then thinner woman? Yet nothing is being changed about it. Great woman and amazing companies are still getting the blame.

When I was trying to make ends meet I didn't go sue a plus-sized store for not hiring me because I was too thin. I applied somewhere else. That's what everyone needs to do when it comes to this “Body Image” nonsense. If it doesn't fit, go somewhere else. Enough is enough “it's time we stop now look around everyone is falling down” as sang it and it's “Time to Come Together Right Now” like Jon Lennon sung so well.

Wake up and smell the reality!

If anything is hurting these young girls growing up, it's the hate they are being exposed to by the woman and men that surround them. The parents are the ones who are in control of what their child sees. I have two beautiful daughters that are opposite in shapes. I've never knocked someone for their body size in front of them. My parents did an amazing job by raising me to see only what's on the inside. Does it mean I came out perfect, absolutely not. As much as we like to protect our children, it's impossible to protect them from all. For an example: My daughters were under the care of one of their in-laws, who happened to be a heavier set gal who decided to knock and belittle skinny blonde girls on television. Saying they had no brains. My oldest picked that up from her and I still catch her knocking the skinny blonde girls to this day no matter what I try and teach her. My youngest who happens to be a thin blonde was also hurt by this ruthless statement. She took it to heart and saw it as an attack. She said to me “Mommy, If this is what grandma thinks, then she must think that I'm stupid and disgusting. I come from you mommy so she thinks my mommy is dumb and disgusting too?” It made my heart ache. I told her that this is coming from jealousy and hate but it's not how we were raised. This just goes to show that we cannot protect them from all but I'll tell you, it's not easy to fix this once it's stuck in their little heads and they've been exposed to this type of belittling. It's especially hurtful and confusing when it's heard from someone they love or look up to, it's not easy to undo these predigest opinions.

“What do I do when my child is exposed to this type of hate from a strong influential personally in their life?”

It is especially difficult when they have heard predigest come from someone they look up to.

My advise to those who are struggling with this touchy subject is to just remind your child how much you love them. Be open with them and let them know that these are only opinions of someone else. Remember that you are the parent and that you brought them in the world. It's your job as their mother to instill strong, independent, and healthy spirits. You can only do so much protecting. The world will always have some form of hate that you can't protect them from. As the parent you can only do what you know is best and show them what's right from wrong. Your children are their own person so no matter what you do there will always be some things you cannot change in them. If you have a strong willed child they will have to learn everything on their own and your opinion doesn't stand a chance. Someday your hard work will pay off but if it doesn't and you have a wild card, don't blame yourself. You did your best. Don't be too hard on yourselves mama's! You did and are doing an amazing job, the best you can and could do.

Let's turn the tables a bit. What happens when your the one who wants to change your body? Here are some common questions that so many mother's struggle with.

“I'm planning to get a breast augmentation but I'm worried that my daughter will think happiness comes from change.

How do I teach her that this is just mommy's decision and that she's perfect the way she is when I'm not happy with the way I am?”

If you are a mother considering or have already gotten a boob job or have done other body altering.

If you are a mother considering changing your body or have already had some body altering done please continue to read. Make sure you explain to your daughter's that the decision to change was your choice and not for someone else. Explain to your child that changing your body is a personal choice you are making. It is a choice for you and only you. Let her know that some of us are born with smaller or larger proportions. It is very important that you emphasize that we are beautiful either way because that's the way we were created! Some people like it and some do not. It's as simple as that. You can tell your child that sometimes we don't like the sizes we were given. Here is one of many examples you can use if you have a younger child that is looking for answers. You can say to your child in question.

“Remember that time we went to your favorite fast food restaurant and you were upset because you wanted more french fries because you were really hungry and you thought it would be cool to have a bigger fry then a smaller fry? Do you remember when mommy changed your order to a super size so that you could have more fries? Mommy used to get big fries too when she was your age because she thought it was really cool to have big fries and they were so yummy! Now mommy's had so many big fries that she just likes getting the small fries now, it's just enough to fill her up. The same thing goes with our bodies. Some want to get it bigger or smaller because it's cooler or because we just like it better that way. It doesn't always mean that's the way everyone want's it because everyone is different.”

I struggled with this topic myself because I have growing daughters. I thought 'what message would this be giving them if I got a boob job'. I don't want them growing up thinking that you have to get big boobs in order to be happy because that's what their mother did. So,I've personally made the decision to wait until they leave the nest before altering my body. Some would argue with this saying that you have needs too and that you shouldn't put all of your happiness aside for your children. I don't feel that I'm putting my happiness aside. My children are my happiness. Again, it comes down to the circumstances, personal beliefs, or how we were raised. This choice was a choice I made from my own individual thoughts and experiences. I do not judge others for the choices they make.

If you are a mother who is considering or that has already altered your body, I hope that you can be open with your daughter about it all. My advise it that you discuss this openly and explain why you made the decision and why it's important for you. Make sure you let your children know that we are all perfect the way we are and that sometimes we just don't like the way we are but that it is a decision you've made on your own and not because someone else thinks that's how you should be. I know there are some mothers that hide this from their daughter's. They will notice. You will be the first person they look at when they find themselves feeling down because they were born with smaller proportions because you are their mother. You created them. They look up to you. When they learn about fake boobs from television or a friend and they come to the realization that they are the only one flat chested. Be prepared! Don't under estimate your daughter's. Remember they are a lot more brighter then you think and don't forget where they got those smart brains of theirs. There will be a day when they come across the family photo's and see that you were once flat chested too, they will ask you questions. Just make sure that you have a very good explanation. They will feel a break in trust if they are the last to know and it will take some time to heal. If they were just too little when you made the changes then you can just tell them you were waiting for this day to come. Otherwise honesty is the best.

Raising daughters to be happy with the body they were born with can be a huge challenge today. It all comes down to a variety of circumstances and different parenting styles we each have as individuals. We all do the best we can based on our own personal experiences.

Back to the hate going around, if you don't like it, don't buy it or watch it. This war on “Body Image” proves only ignorance. Ignorance that starts with a feeling that has been around since the beginning of time. “Jealousy”. If it was truly about body image, than lets focus on everyone including the thick, thin, tall, short, handicapped, and/or disabled. Those who are out there knocking brands like Victoria's Secret are being hypocritical. All of these stores serve the same ideas and purpose. Whether it be Lane Bryant or Victoria's Secret, we go there to hide what we have or to alter it. Most of us select these stores to make our body look better by pushing, tucking, hiding, and/or flattening it. Open up your eyes society! We all want what we don't have and the reasons are not because Cosmo says so. Woman and children come in all different sizes. If they are larger it could be the bone structure, if they are heavy, it may be from your parenting style. Change is one of the hardest things to do, but we've got to start turning the hate into knowledge and focus on what this is really about. It's time we stop blaming and start re-evaluating ourselves so that we can better educate the children who look up to us. We want to look better for many reasons such as wanting to impress that perfect date, a night out on the town with friends, romantic evenings with the Mr., or for work. Whether it's to hide something we don't like about ourselves or if it's to boost something up, it's a choice we make. It's upsetting to see so many people getting hurt by these insane protests and campaigns brought on by personal feelings. Enough is enough. This has become more of an excuse to bash the skinny and it's not okay! It is also causing thinner people to grow a hate towards overweight people. I speak for myself and millions of others today when I say this needs to stop. Let go of the predigest. It's a lot more easier to blame then to change but if we all stand together, then we have the power to change! If it's not right for an underweight woman to call an overweight woman fat, ugly, lazy, or disgusting to their faces, then it is certainly not okay for an overweight woman to continue to call an underweight woman sickly, gross, anorexic, or disgusting. This is belittling and it needs to stop. I'm so tired of hearing “It's just not fair”. What it really comes down to is morals. I can say it's not fair for skinny woman to be knocked on a daily basis for being skinny. I can also say that you don't see many skinny woman knocking a big girl on a daily basis. It could be out of morals or fear. The street goes both ways here. I would like the thin girls to stand up for themselves when they are being knocked, but that would just be to cruel right? Wrong. It's all wrong. This just goes back to the green eyed monsters (aka jealousy). We all have one in us. It's what we decide to do with it that matters. What most over-sized woman don't realize is that thin-sized woman want what you have. Plastic Surgeons are banking on all sizes of woman flooding their offices in hopes to gain or lose more. Again, we all want what we don't have. It's a personal preference not a body image issue.

Let the clothing stores do what they want. If you don't like it, go to one that fits you better. We are in a society where there are a million places to shop made for different types of people. Lets just be healthy emotionally and physically. Remember that some can't help it. Big bones runs in families just as high metabolisms run in others. We can't help the genes we were given but we can change the way we think and speak. Retrain that mind of yours to think “healthy” not “Jealousy”. Plus-sized sized woman say they get treated poorly by doctors for being overweight. I'd rather be treated then to not be treated at all because I “look healthy”. A new study just showed that “Skinny Fat” is the most deadly of them all. Let's all look at the facts and stop the nonsense. We need to come together as woman should and stop taking our own personal hates and blaming it on others, start loving one another for who we are and not for our size. Go back and remember why we have a Victoria's Secret and a Layne Bryant. Take yourself back to the real reason we tuck, flatten, or push up. This hate needs to stop. Please Share If You Agree! Let's put our minds together on this one and become one as we should.